Pork Chop
by CutewithAcapital-Q
Summary: Companion piece to Just Another Twilight Spoof. reading that is not nessesary but it will be funnier if you do! Summary: Its Dinnertime and Ron wants a second helping! T for minor lang, and innuendos! Enjoy and Review!


Because of the Twilight Spoof I posted recently I was prompted and from popular demand had to write this oneshot. Its silly and cute, but thats what I say about ALLL my fics. I hope you like it and I really hope you Review!!

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PORKCHOP

Ronald Weasley was mostly a content young man for this moment in time. It was summer, no schoolwork to do, and he was safe within the confines of the Burrow surrounded by his family at the dinner table (On pork chop night), and a best friend at each of his shoulders. There were just a few minor implications in this picture. The first was simply the inescapable fate that awaited his friends and him in the short time to come, and then of course there was the daily progressing desire to snog the living daylights out of one of those friends, and the last: He was still hungry!

He looked down at his mournfully empty plate, and then to the table, all the food was gone, except for the Brussel sprouts, that nobody ever ate… except Fred…no one really knew why (Not even George). Ron moved his search to the plates of unfinished first helpings that would hopefully become his second. Certainly not his brothers, they were just as wise as Ron when it came to eating a Weasley dinner, eat quick or not at all.

Harry? No, his plate was clean as well, but not because he had finished his allotted pork chop, but instead because Ginny seemed to have just beaten him to it!

'What a Pig!' Ron thought as Ginny returned to her seat across the table with her stolen prize and commenced to eat. He prayed to Merlin as he turned to his other side, and peered over to Hermione's plate.

Low and Behold! There was still a sizable portion of meat left on her plate! But he couldn't get too excited yet. He had to approach this carefully if he was going to get what he wanted. This was, after all the girl he fancied, and Ron was trying to make a little more of an effort to stay on her good side.

"Hey Hermione, you gonna finish that pork chop?"

"Yes, Ron," Hermione answered, as if unsure whether or not the question was rhetorical, and took a bite of mashed potatoes.

"You sure?" Ron eased his fork closer to her plate.

"Ronald, if you so much as touch my pork chop, I will fork you." She said pointedly.

Ginny began to mutter something like, "I'm sure you'd love to fork my br-" until there was a thump under the table and she stopped abruptly to wince in minor pain.

"All I'm thinking is," Ron decided it was time to regroup, "That's an awfully big pork chop, for someone one your size."

"Ron, I'm not a child, if I thought I wasn't going to be able to finish it I wouldn't have chosen it."

"Totally right, but if but I'm just putting it out there, if you don't finish it, I could take it off your plate."

"Ron why are you under the impression I'm not going to finish it."

"Well you're not eating it." Ron pointed out bluntly.

"Because I'm too preoccupied discussing it with you!" Hermione was now extremely irritated.

"Well, then don't discuss, eat!" Ron prompted.

"I will!"

"….. Yeah but are you sure?" Ron begged, as she picked up her fork, un-phased by his act.

"Ron, I'm just about ready to lick this, to prove that I do intend to finish it! Would you want it then?"

On the inside, Ron was seriously considering the possibility of eating a piece of meat Hermione had purposely licked, but George responded for him.

"I don't think that'd make much of a difference, Hermione. Ronnie's eaten things that have been dropped in the jon."

"Oh Yeah!" Fred chimed in casually, "But George that's not really fair, he didn't actually know."

Just about everyone at the table was thoroughly disgusted. Ron was blushing, feverishly trying to remember any of the times the twins fed him something. Then he decided to use this personal set back to a present advantage.

"You still want to eat now?"

"Yes!" Hermione said, more inspite of Ron at this point.

"Good!" He replied, 'BUGGER!' he thought. "I'm glad," he crossed his armes and turned away from her. 'BLOODY HELL!'

"Me too," Hermione finalized the statement as she cut a piece of meat and ripped it angrily off her fork.

'DAMMIT!' his mind harrumphed and he waited impatiently for dessert.

There you go!

(From one sicky to another, You know who you are!)

Everyone Please review!


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